Q: What's sad about four mother-in-laws going over a cliff in a Ford Fiesta? A: A Ford Fiesta seats five.
We hope you share our slightly twisted taste in mother-in-law jokes. If so, then have a look at a few more shining examples of the art of sending up that most widely cherished of relatives here.
Like them or not, mothers in law are our cross to bear as a society, men and women alike. There are, of course, some great ones out there, but on the whole it can often be quite difficult to tell exactly how they spawned the significant others we fall for so completely.
Sadly, it is our due to do our part to bring our mother-in-laws on side, whether they're perfect, sweet angels ageing gracefully or cantankerous fiends with souls the colour of burnt flesh, festering in their armchairs and dreaming about the day their progeny will be swept away by a suitor of greater wealth, looks or seriousness than ourselves.
So how do we do it? These ladies have pretty much undoubtedly been around a good deal longer than you and know more about the world than you can possibly imagine. But there's one notable exception: technology. This is your trump card in the quest to de-claw a tricky mum-in-law. These five simple displays of technological nous will quickly and easily convince her that actually, it's fine that you're carnally indulging in her offspring, because you're smart as a whip.
- Make her a Facebook: Watch her eyes sparkle with narcissistic pleasure as you unveil her first ever social media profile. For God's sake just make sure you use a flattering picture, yeah?
- Make her a photo album: You can do a slideshow right? Good, she probably can't and will undoubtedly be impressed by a shiny new set of family flicks. Bonus points if you get it made into a coffee table book.
- Take her to the casino: Log on to Jackpot Capital Casino, fire up the slots and I DARE YOU to try to remove her from the screen in the space of an hour. Chicks dig slots, especially old ones.
- Take her Skyping: Hook her up with an old pal on Skype, watch the tears flow and the brownie points accrue like snow in a blizzard.
- Make her a CV. Load up a CV template, write a CV that makes her sound like a human being perhaps many times more accomplished and socially integrated than she actually is and tell her she should really consider applying for a more prestigious job. You'll have her eating out of the palm of your hand, much like the animal that – deep down – you believe her to be.